Teens in Crisis

November 5th, 2008 by Theresa | Posted in One Pearl Story |

So, this is my third attempt at writing this blog – about why One Pearl supports Saving Teens in Crisis Collaborative (STICC) – and I am finding it very difficult to know where to begin or what to say. It is because of an “event” in my family that I came to know of John Reuben and STICC. So here goes …

Over the course of years, I had been dealing with many issues concerning one of my sons, to no avail. Eventually, feeling left with no other recourse, he was sent to a wilderness therapy camp and from there to a therapeutic boarding school. In rereading that sentence, I chuckle at how simple those words sound. There is/was nothing simple about that time at all. It was one of the most, if not the most, crushing experiences of my life to date.

To have your child taken, to see him for only 11 days of his entire 16th year, to wonder how he was; when would he come home to live again; what he was thinking; how much did he hate me; would he ever forgive me; would he ever understand … why he had to go; was he warm and dry; was he homesick; did he feel utterly alone and abandoned; to continually question every decision pertaining to him made over the years; to feel so helpless, at a loss of what to do, how to act, what to say to people who asked about him, fighting tears every time his name was mentioned … all these thoughts and so many more raced through my head constantly, making life so very hard to bear. For months after he left, I could not leave my home, so tortured was I with grief over his departure and literally sick with worry. These thoughts and more roiled through my head, over and over and over. Finally one day, something snapped. I had another son at home, who needed me. I had to get up and start living again, or at least try to pretend to live again, for his sake as well as my own.

Months before my son was taken, we took a trip of a lifetime together, just the two of us. It was during this trip that I began to design some jewelry, and had success. I decided to try and make this business of designing/selling jewelry an income source for donating money to organizations that support causes that I believe in. Having risen from “the dead,” I was energized and ready to go – deciding to pour myself into this business.

The first non-profit that I became affiliated with was STICC. I met John through word of mouth, found out that he had received his 501 (c) 3 status just a month before we first talked. I called him immediately, he drove down from his home in Massachusetts and we met at Rein’s Deli in Vernon, CT. We clicked upon meeting. I knew that he felt the same way that I did about these kids who need help, but cannot get it because their family/they cannot afford the treatment needed. I found my first non-profit that I wanted to help through my business.

It felt so good, to have something positive to work for, to be able to turn this anguish, hurt, sadness and sense of loss into something productive. My son, and I, were/are so fortunate that we were able to get him the help that he needed. These types of programs are expensive and the vast majority of the costs are not covered by insurance. Therefore, many who desperately need help, will never get help. These kids will end up being labeled “bad”, they get into trouble, go to jail and possibly die, simply because they were not as fortunate as we were, being able to give him this help. I could not imagine knowing how to help my son and not be able to afford it. That would have been a living nightmare. I want to make sure that no parent has to feel that. Ever.

A few days after I met John, the analogy of the pearl and my son popped into my head. An epiphany. The perfect metaphor. The pearl. An object placed in a foreign environment, nurtured and coated with nacre, emerging a beautiful and unique gem. My son, placed in a foreign environment, cut off from the rest of the world, nurtured and coated with therapy, emerging a beautiful and unique gem. Perfect. My Pearl. After that idea came to me, I had to figure out how to market it, how to make people notice it. It was then that I decided to put one contrasting pearl on every piece of jewelry to symbolize the transformation of someone, if only given the chance. A black or white pearl, on every piece, with the hope that someone will ask why is that one pearl there? To then be given the chance to say, this pearl represents a child who has been transformed with my help, through the purchase of this necklace/bracelet. BAM! One Pearl was born.

STICC provides funding for kids who need treatment in a therapeutic setting, but whose families cannot afford the costs involved. John founded STICC in 2005 and has been working tirelessly over the years to raise funds to continue to help kids and their families in crisis. John and I both have very personal reasons for being involved, as we both have had kids go through this and know exactly how parents feel when faced with such circumstances. It is crushing. We never want any family to feel helpless when faced with such issues.

Funding for emotional and substance abuse issues is almost non-existent, mainly because our society has become one which expects a “quick fix” for every situation. There is no such thing when it comes to these issues, it takes time, lots of time. STICC generally funds kids for 18 – 24 months, the “usual” length of time that these programs take in order to have a positive outcome. Remember the old adage …good things come to those who wait? It is so true in these cases.

My son is home. He is doing well. He is happy. I wake up every morning, elated that I can now see him every day, hug him and tell him I love him. I take great delight in being able to cook his favorite foods, to talk to him in the evening about his day at work/school. I relish every moment with him. His brother is glad that he is home. Hearing the two of them laughing together and seeing them work together when helping me with chores is my reward. Even though the past years have been excruciatingly difficult, the end result makes it all worthwhile. My son is home. My two boys are with me. Nothing in life is ever perfect, but having my two boys, my two pearls, at home with me is pretty close…

For these reasons, One Pearl contributes a portion of sales to STICC, a non-profit that does a world of good for kids and families who need help. We even sell a “STICC lariat,” with a beautiful gold tag featuring STICC’s logo, sales of which directly support their organization.